By J.J. Colagrande

06_geriGeri loves to sew—shortie’s always sewing. Tell me, sista—who taught you?

Before I came to sewing I first started crocheting, back in the day, before I met Curtis. I was like fourteen, living in Hialeah with mi familia. My Nana taught me.

And you dug it like what?

I dug it and it came to me naturally. What really hooked me—this might sound sadistic but I don’t care—was the time my mother’s boyfriend sat on my needle. He was a real dick, he treated my mom like shit, you know, it was so obvious to me how he used her. He was cheap, real cheap. Never springing for a dime. He didn’t even work, a lazy Puerto Rican—see I’m Cuban, we work. I’ve outgrown my prejudices against Puerto Ricans. He was just a puto. Anyway, one day, by accident he sat on my needle and it went like two inches into his butt. He had to go to Jackson Memorial and everything. I knew he was a tight ass, but, you know, however unintentional, to me it was a sign that the powers that be were trying to crochet his cheap ass butt cheeks shut. I’ve been sewing ever since.

That’s an ill story, Geri.

Yeah, since then I’ve been a member of the Crochet Guild of America. CGOA for life, baby.

You must be good at crochet.

Mostly, as of late, I only crochet tams and scarves. Mainly I’ve been sewing a lot of patchwork.

Patchwork is dope. That’s the real headie Shiite. What materials do you use?

When I make pants and apron top shirts they’re always funky with random materials. But my trademark, as you should know, Thelonious, is the patchwork I do with the kid’s bed sheets.

That’s your niche, no doubt. I was trying to get to the kids bed sheets. Your patchwork could be on display at the Googleheim or sold at Art Basel or something. It’s that good.

Thank you, papi. That’s very sweet of you. You know, it takes me back to my childhood to do patchwork, especially with say Raggedy Ann bed sheets, or My Little Pony. I used to sleep on a pair when I was a kid. And the boys, when the boys see an Aqua-man graphic on a fat headie glass pouch they go nuts. Know what I mean?

I used to have the Justice League of America bed sheets. Pop culture superhero cartoon stuff is dope. You can be a 01_thelonious-horowitz13poor gal from Dallas or a prep school chick from Seattle and you’re gonna know and love My Little Pony.

Totally. No one can take it away from us. I go out of my way searching thrift shops, vintage shops, E-bay, anywhere, to find the old bed sheets I use for my patchwork.

Yo—I think you’re the bomb, girl, but on the real, what’s the number one reason why you sew?

I crochet and sew because it’s relaxing. It’s hard to explain but when I’m working it’s like I’m suspended from space and time. I’m in a zone. Like I’m pure energy. Like I’m connected to The Flow. Like you and music.

Yo—you belong in Kali with all that connected to the flow Shiite.


Tell it to the judge, sista-love, but I’ll miss you too, baby.

if you like this, check out Thelonious interview Melody Rain