WHY THELONIOUS LOVES NEW YORK

By J.J. Colagrande

01_thelonious-horowitz4I Love New York, I do, that’s why I had to get the fuck out of dodge immediately, if not sooner. Man I’m born and raised in that motherfucker and the difference between most natives and me is I get out as much as possible. I’ve seen over eighty music festivals in the past five years. When the Shitty crawls under my skin, I hit up-a-fest. And New York can really get under your skin, but don’t tell me I don’t love New York. I remember one time as a kid my parents took me to a game at Shea. The Reds were in town. It was Mookie Wilson bobblehead night. I like the Mets, so what? Prior to the game a commercial was being filmed for the city’s tourism campaign. Over the PA the director explained we were all extras, we just had to sing the slogan. There were forty thousand of us singing I-I-I-I-L-O-V-E-N-E-W-Y-O-R-K. It was so-o-o dope. All the synergy and unity, in a positive way, you know, I mean in a really positive way. I never felt so connected to any place in all my life. I literally put the Love in “I Love New York.” Then my old man had to ruin the moment with one of his snide-ass comments. I seriously believe New York is more complicated than a four word-mantra, a drink in one hand, his pipe in the other, why don’t they just play ball. I’m like five, what the fuck’s a mantra? Whenever my father critiques something somehow he ruins the magic, but sometimes the old man knows what’s up. He was right. New York is mad complicated. It can’t be minimized or simplified or whatevs. Therefore there’s only one thing left to do in New York and that’s play ball. Pops knows. Teflon knows. I didn’t meet KC until later at the fest but she knows too. If you’re a New-Yorkah, you play ball.

If you liked this, you might enjoy Mr. Horowitz’s take on Flori-duh