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	<title>Headz the novel &#187; San Francisco</title>
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		<title>KEITH S.A.K.E. FEST DAY ONE</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-keith-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-keith-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:54:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=115</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Years ago, to celebrate our anniversary, I threw a three-day party for Sky. Only two people were invited, us. I called it the S.A.K.E.—Sky And Keith Everlasting—festival. Even made up a flyer. I mailed it to her and everything. The first day of S.A.K.E. was all about Henna. You know Henna has the power to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz4.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-116" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="04_keith-lipsiznowaz4" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz4-200x300.jpg" alt="04_keith-lipsiznowaz4" width="200" height="300" /></a>Years ago, to celebrate our anniversary, I threw a three-day party for Sky. Only two people were invited, us. I called it the S.A.K.E.—Sky And Keith Everlasting—festival. Even made up a flyer. I mailed it to her and everything. The first day of S.A.K.E. was all about Henna. You know Henna has the power to protect, that’s why it’s used in Far East weddings. For supplies I went to the New Bizarre Indian Grocery Store on Polk. Found everything I needed, including henna leaves. I took the dried out henna leaves, sprinkled them with a bit of vegetable oil, and then with a coffee grinder I shredded it into a powder. The powder needed to be sifted until very fine. So I stretched out a nylon cloth and secured the nylon with a rubber band around a cleaned out Ragu jar. Then I sprinkled the henna powder on the nylon and with a spoon I pushed it through into the jar. There were debris on the nylon, fine twigs and what not. I got rid of all that. In a bowl I stirred three teaspoons of the sifted henna powder, one teaspoon of eucalyptus oil, and three tablespoons of the blackest black tea I could make. Twenty hours later I had the paste in time for S.A.K.E. We rubbed each other’s bodies in eucalyptus oil then went to work. After the henna set we periodically dabbed the designs with a mixture of lemon juice and sugar. Citric acid in the lemon juice helps the henna seep into the skin and the sugar acts as a glaze. The rubbing of the eucalyptus oil was a part of the henna process but it was also really arousing in its own right, for both of us, but there was not to be any sex, no sex until the last day of the festival.</p>
<p>If you like this, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-two-and-three/">Sky&#8217;s version of the rest of their festival</a></p>
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		<title>SKY&#8217;S TRIP TO THE MUSEUM WITH KEITH</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-talks-about-a-trip-to-the-museum-with-keith/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-talks-about-a-trip-to-the-museum-with-keith/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:36:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=121</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Keith and I were at the Legion of Honor museum. We were standing in the Rodin hall in front of The Mighty Hand. That statue says it all. It’s totally gripping. The tensions in every finger. The flex of every fiber of the hand. On one level it’s like the hand is trying so hard [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler3.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-122" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="03_sky-tyler3" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler3-300x199.jpg" alt="03_sky-tyler3" width="300" height="199" /></a>Keith and I were at the Legion of Honor museum. We were standing in the Rodin hall in front of The Mighty Hand. That statue says it all. It’s totally gripping. The tensions in every finger. The flex of every fiber of the hand. On one level it’s like the hand is trying so hard to hold on. With every ounce of energy the hand tries to hold on. On another level the hand tries so h<a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/rodins-hand.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-123" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="rodins-hand" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/rodins-hand-150x150.jpg" alt="rodins-hand" width="150" height="150" /></a>ard to grasp. Like it wants a piece of something. What is life if not the constant struggle to hold on versus the desire to grasp? The Mighty Hand does both. I remember Keith and I were talking about maintaining what you have, security, health, whatever it is, versus wanting what you think you need or should have, love, materials, success. This was back in the day. And then our hands fit into each other’s, with no tension at all, a complete fit, like two pieces of jigsaw destined to click together no matter how many times the game was played.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you enjoyed this, check out<a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-melody-rain-talks-about-meeting-sky/"> Melody reveal how she met Sky in Berkeley</a></p>
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		<title>MELODY RAIN TALKS ABOUT MEETING SKY</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-melody-rain-talks-about-meeting-sky/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-melody-rain-talks-about-meeting-sky/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Apr 2009 02:14:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=127</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I live in Berkeley Hills with my mom. My mom’s girlfriend lives there too. I’ll move out soon. I only need six more Natural Science credits to get an AA degree in Liberal Arts from Vista Community College. I don’t have to tell you anything, but just cause, this time I will. So it was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/07_melody-rain1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-129" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="07_melody-rain1" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/07_melody-rain1-200x300.jpg" alt="07_melody-rain1" width="200" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>I live in Berkeley Hills with my mom. My mom’s girlfriend lives there too. I’ll move out soon. I only need six more Natural Science credits to get an AA degree in Liberal Arts from Vista Community College. I don’t have to tell you anything, but just cause, this time I will. So it was finals week, spring semester. Sometimes I sit in the Irie Café re-reading a section from my Botany notebook. The memorization hella kills me. Then I seen Sky walk in. She’d entered wearing a long skirt and an apron top half-shirt. Her Osaris tattoo was in clear view on her lower back and the colored Ganesha tat on her shoulder was kind-a hidden by the straps of the shirt. She wore this Rasta tam and a few of her skinny dreads dangled out of the hat. She was totally a hottie. Nibbling on my favorite sandwich, the one with feta, avocado, green olive tapenade, and rocket leaves, I noticed Sky the second she walked in. When that Bobo blood clot started getting all crazy on Sky I stepped right in. I couldn’t help it. I wanted her. And I get what I want.</p>
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		<title>SKY TYLER&#8217;S BACKGROUND</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/sky-tyler-talks-about-her-own-birth/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/sky-tyler-talks-about-her-own-birth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:31:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=261</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I came into being on the twentieth day of April, nineteen eighty-nine, at the Mad River Community Hospital in Humboldt County. I had no control over being born on Hitler’s birthday. Had no idea I’d share my day of conception with the Columbine tragedy. I’m born on 420, whatever. It’s not my fault, really. I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler7.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-262" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="03_sky-tyler7" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler7-300x199.jpg" alt="03_sky-tyler7" width="300" height="199" /></a>I came into being on the twentieth day of April, nineteen eighty-nine, at the Mad River Community Hospital in Humboldt County. I had no control over being born on Hitler’s birthday. Had no idea I’d share my day of conception with the Columbine tragedy. I’m born on 420, whatever. It’s not my fault, really. I had no control over my birth. Almost didn’t make it. I came into being with pneumonia, a neonatal pneumonia, passed to me during delivery. The first four-syllable word I ever heard, although <em>incoherent</em>, was <em>streptococcus</em>. It came from the mouth of Dr. Hunts, approximately one hour after my birth, as I lay against my mother’s bosom, pacified. Interestingly enough, the first three-syllable word to penetrate my eardrums was heroin and it came from the lips of my mother, Charlotte, about thirty seconds after my being. Heroin, a word from a woman who just gave birth for the first time, either a plea for some extra pain relief, or a statement of credit to what got her through the four-hour labor, actually Demerol, a derivative of heroin. Or, maybe, she invoked the word to mean heroine, after all, in so many words, isn’t that what a mother is? My mother’s not self-righteous, but she’s known for escaping, for taking the easy way out. Heroin or heroine. You decide. The first two-syllable word to grace my infant ears was surprisingly, Jesus. Spoken, not surprisingly, by my father, who for an agnostic used the word more than he thought and in more contexts he’d of thought possible. Jesus was the first word I ever heard. It’s on tape, that’s how I know all this, my father, standing behind Dr. Hunts with a camera, my head pops out first, and he’s saying it over and over again: <em>Jesus, Charl, Jesus, Doc, Gee-zus</em>. Kind of an ironic introduction for a future and past Buddhist. Wouldn’t you say? Trippy, right?</p>
<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/deleted-scene%E2%80%94how-keith-and-sky-met/">click here to find out how Keith and Sky met</a></p>
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		<title>KEITH TALKS ABOUT HIS BAGGAGE</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/keith-talks-about-his-baggage/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/keith-talks-about-his-baggage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:11:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=247</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The baggage thing is a quasi-interesting story, dude. On the flight from San Francisco I came to the simple conclusion that all I needed was a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Here was my logic: to the old monks, clothes were cast off rags and even when they fell to pieces they’d find a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz8.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-248" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="04_keith-lipsiznowaz8" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz8-200x300.jpg" alt="04_keith-lipsiznowaz8" width="200" height="300" /></a>The baggage thing is a quasi-interesting story, dude. On the flight from San Francisco I came to the simple conclusion that all I needed was a T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Here was my logic: to the old monks, clothes were cast off rags and even when they fell to pieces they’d find a use for them, the fabric recycled into mops or whatever. Sort of how I felt with Sky, like an old mop needed to clean up a mess. Anyway I didn’t need to lug around baggage. My mind sometimes plays tricks on me. I don’t know why I thought I needed baggage. On the way to Chicago I heard in my mind the voice of my yogi in Los Angeles, my sweaty yoga master. He had a lot of mantras, certain sayings he’d repeat. <em>The mind is a powerful tool, but a terrible master. You are not your body, you are not your mind, Keith, you are something supreme, you are something divine</em>. I meditated on all of this during the flight. And I think I found the center of my lotus regarding my obsessions and anxieties over Sky. At least I was able to relax. The first thing I did when the plane landed in Chicago was ask for directions. I never claimed my baggage. When I no longer had baggage I felt freer. Duh! So simple. Why complicate your life with more then what’s necessary for the moment? In the midst of an anxious mind I forget to live in the moment. I also had this purple-book I’d brought to give to Sky. It’s called <em>Be Here Now</em> and it helped me remember the Keith I am. I would’ve shown the book to Teflon but I forgot it on the plane. Teflon would’ve dug the book. As for Sky, she didn’t need the book. She needed a friend.</p>
<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/keith-and-kc-talk-about-sky-tyler/">Click here to spy on Keith and KC talking about Sky</a>.</p>
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		<title>What We Talk About When We Talk About Love</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/what-we-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-love/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/what-we-talk-about-when-we-talk-about-love/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Apr 2009 11:21:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[music novel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what we talk about when we talk about love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what we talk about when we talk about love text]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=813</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I recently read this story. It&#8217;s a work of Fiction. I like it a lot. It&#8217;s called &#8220;What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.&#8221; You know I always have love on my mind. Anyway, I&#8217;m going to send it to KC. I think she&#8217;ll like it, and then we can talk about it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/04_Keith-Lipsiznowaz.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-814" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="04_Keith Lipsiznowaz" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/04_Keith-Lipsiznowaz-150x150.jpg" alt="04_Keith Lipsiznowaz" width="150" height="150" /></a></p>
<p>I recently read this story. It&#8217;s a work of Fiction. I like it a lot. It&#8217;s called &#8220;What We Talk About When We Talk About Love.&#8221; You know I always have love on my mind. Anyway, I&#8217;m going to send it to KC. I think she&#8217;ll like it, and then we can talk about it together. Break-it-down.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s written by a dude named Raymond Carver. I hope KC digs it.</p>
<p>Here it is . . .</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>WHAT WE TALK ABOUT WHEN WE TALK ABOUT LOVE</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>My friend Mel McGinnis was talking. Mel McGinnis is a cardiologist, and sometimes that gives him the right.</p>
<p>The four of us were sitting around his kitchen table drinking gin. Sunlight filled the kitchen from the big windows behind the sink. There were Mel and me and his second wife, Teresa—Terri, we called her—and my wife, Laura. We lived in Albuquerque then. But we were all from somewhere else.</p>
<p>There was an ice bucket on the table. The gin and the tonic water kept going around, and we somehow got on the subject of love. Mel thought real love was nothing less than spiritual love. He said he’d spent five years of his life in a seminary before quitting to go to medical school. He said he still looked back on those years in the seminary as the most important years in his life.</p>
<p>Terri said the man she lived with before she lived with Mel loved her so much he tried to kill her. Then Terri said, “He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the living room by my ankles. He kept saying, “I love you, I love you, you bitch.” He went on dragging me around the living room by my ankles. My head kept knocking on things.” Terri looked around the room. “What do you do with love like that?”</p>
<p>She was a bone-thin woman with a pretty face, dark eyes, and brown hair that hung down her back. She liked necklaces made of turquoise, and long pendant earrings.</p>
<p>“My God, don’t be silly. That’s not love, and you know it,” Mel said. “I don’t know what you’d call it, but I sure know you wouldn’t call it love.”</p>
<p>“Say what you want to, but I know what it was,” Terri said. “It may sound crazy to you, but it’s true just the same. People are different, Mel. Sure, sometimes he may have aced crazy. Okay. But he loved me. In his own way maybe, but he loved me. There was love there, Mel. Don’t say there wasn’t.”</p>
<p>Mel let out his breathe. He held his glass and turned to Laura and me. “The man threatened to kill me,” Mel said. He finished his drink and went for the gin bottle. “Terri’s a romantic. Terri’s of the kick-me-so-I’ll-know-you-love-me-school. Terri, hon, don’t look that way.” Mel reached across the table and touched Terri’s cheeks with his fingers. He grinned at her.</p>
<p>“Now he wants to make up,” Terri said.</p>
<p>“Make up what?” Mel said. “What is there to make up? I know what I know. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“How’d we get started on this subject anyway?” Terri said. She raised her glass and drank from it. “Mel always has love on his mind,” she said. “Don’t you, honey?” She smiled and I thought that was he last of it.</p>
<p>“I just wouldn’t call Ed’s behavior love. That’s all I’m saying, honey,” Mel said. “What about you guys?” Mel said to Laura and me. “Does that sound like love to you?”</p>
<p>“I’m the wrong person to ask,” I said. “I didn’t even know the man. I heard his name mentioned in passing. I wouldn’t know. You’d have to know the particulars. But I think what you’re saying is that love is an absolute.”</p>
<p>Mel said, “The kind of love I’m talking about is. The kind of love I’m talking about, you don’t try and kill people.”</p>
<p>Laura said, “I don’t know anything about Ed, or about the situation. But who can judge anyone else’s situation?”</p>
<p>I touched the back of Laura’s hand. She gave me a quick smile. I picked up Laura’s hand. It was warm, the nails polished, perfectly manicured. I encircled the broad wrist with my fingers, and I held her</p>
<p>“When I left, he drank rat poison,” Terri said. She clasped her arms with her hands. “They took him to the hospital in Santa Fe. That’s where we lived then, about ten miles out. They saved his life. But his gums went crazy from it. I mean they pulled away his teeth. After that, his teeth stood out like fangs. My God,” Terri said. She waited a minute, then let go of her arms and picked up her glass.</p>
<p>“What people won’t do!” Laura said.</p>
<p>“He’s out of the action now,” Mel said. “He’s dead.”</p>
<p>Mel handed me the saucer of limes. I took a section, squeezed it over my drink, and stirred the ice cubes with my fingers.</p>
<p>“It gets worse,” Terri said. “He shot himself in the mouth. But he bungles that too. Poor Ed,” she said. Terri shook her head.</p>
<p>“Poor Ed nothing,” Mel said. “He was dangerous.”</p>
<p>Mel was forty-five years old. He was tall and rangy with curly soft hair. His face and arms were brown from the tennis he played.  When he was sober, his gestures, all his movements, were precise, very careful.</p>
<p>“He did love me though, Mel. Grant me that,” Terri said. “That’s all I’m asking. He didn’t love me the way you love me. I’m not saying that. But he loved me. You can grant me that, can’t you?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean, he bungled it?” I said.</p>
<p>Laura leaned forward with her glass. She put her elbows on the table and her glass with both hands. She glanced from Mel to Terri and waited with a look of bewilderment on her face, as if amazed such things happened to people you were friendly with.</p>
<p>“How’d he bungle it when he killed himself?” I asked.</p>
<p>“I’ll tell you what happened,” Mel said. “He took his twenty-two pistol he’d bought to threaten Terri and me with. Oh, I’m serious, the man was always threatening. You should have seen the way we lived in those days. Like fugitives. I even bought a gun myself. Can you believe it? A guy like me? But I did. I bought a gun for self-defense and carried it in my glove compartment. Sometimes I’d have to leave the apartment in the middle of the night. To go to the hospital, you know? Terri and I weren’t married then, and my first wife had the house and kids, the dog, everything, and Terri and I were living in this apartment here. Sometimes, as I say, I’d get a call in the middle of the night and have to go to the hospital at two or three in the morning. It’d be dark out there in the parking lot, and I’d break into a sweat before I could even get to my car. I never knew if he was going to come out of the shrubbery or from behind a car and start shooting. I mean, the man was crazy. He was capable of wiring a bomb, anything. He used to call my service at all hours and say he needed to talk to the doctor, and when I’d return the call, he’d say, ‘Son of a bitch, your days are numbered.’ Little things like that. It was scary, I’m telling you.”</p>
<p>“I still feel sorry for him,” Terri said.</p>
<p>“It sounds like a nightmare,” Laura said. “But what exactly happened after he shot himself?”</p>
<p>Laura is a legal secretary. We’d met in a professional capacity. Before we knew it, it was a courtship. She’s thirty-five, three years younger than I am. In addition to being in love, we like each other and enjoy each other’s company. She’s easy to be with.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“What happened?” Laura asked.</p>
<p>Mel said, “He shot himself in the mouth in his room. Someone heard the shot and told the manager. They came in with a passkey, saw what had happened, and called an ambulance. I happened to be there when they brought him in, alive but past recall. The man lived for three days. His head swelled up to twice the size of a normal head. I’d never seen anything like it, and I hope I never do again. Terri wanted to go in and sit with him when she found out about it. We had a fight over it. I didn’t think she should see him like that. I didn’t think she should see him, and I still don’t.”</p>
<p>“Who won the fight?” Laura said.</p>
<p>“I was in the room with him when he died,” Terri said. “He never came up out of it. But I sat with him. He didn’t have anyone else.”</p>
<p>“He was dangerous,” Mel said. “If you call that love, you can have it.”</p>
<p>“It was love,” Terri said. “Sure, it’s abnormal in most people’s eyes. But he was willing to die for it. He did die for it.”</p>
<p>“I sure as hell wouldn’t call it love,” Mel said. “I mean, no one knows what he did it for. I’ve seen a lot of suicides, and I couldn’t say anybody knew what they did it for.”</p>
<p>Mel put his hands behind his neck and tilted his chair back. “I’m not interested in that kind of love,” he said. “If that’s love, you can have.”</p>
<p>Terri said, “We were afraid. Mel even made a will out and wrote to his brother in California who used to be a Green Beret. Mel told him who to look for if something happened to him.” Terri drank from her glass. “But Mel’s right—we lived like fugitives. We were afraid. Mel was, weren’t you, honey? I even called the police at one point, but they were no help. They said they couldn’t do anything until Ed actually did something. Isn’t that a laugh?” Terri said.</p>
<p>She poured the last of the gin into her glass and waggled the bottle. Mel rose from the table and went to the cupboard. He took down another bottle.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Well, Nick and I know what love is,” Laura said. “For us, I mean.” Laura bumped my knee with her knee. “You’re supposed to say something now,” Laura said, and turned her smile on me.</p>
<p>For an answer, I took Laura’s hand and raised it to my lips. I made a big production out of kissing her hand. Everyone was amused.</p>
<p>“We’re lucky,” I said.</p>
<p>“You guys,” Terri said. “Stop that now. You’re making me sick. You’re still on the honeymoon, for God’s sake. You’re still gaga, for crying out loud. Just wait. How long have you been together now? How long has it been? A year? Longer than a year?”</p>
<p>“Going on a year and a half,” Laura said, flushed and smiling.</p>
<p>“Oh, now,” Terri said. “Wait awhile.”</p>
<p>She held her drink and gazed at Laura.</p>
<p>“I’m only kidding,” Terri said.</p>
<p>Mel opened the gin and went around the table with the bottle.</p>
<p>“Here, you guys,” he said. “Let’s have a toast. I want to propose a toast. A toast to love. To true love,” Mel said.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Outside in the backyard, one of the dogs began to bark. The leaves of the aspen that leaned against the window ticked against the glass. The afternoon sun was like a presence in the room, the spacious light of ease and generosity. We could have been anywhere, somewhere enchanted. We raised our glasses again and grinned at each other like children who agreed on something forbidden.</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll tell you what real love is,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;I mean, I&#8217;ll give you a good example. And then you can draw your own conclusions.&#8221; He poured more gin into his glass. He added an ice cube and a sliver of lime. We waited and sipped our drinks. Laura and I touched knees again. I put a hand on her warm thigh and left it there.</p>
<p>&#8220;What do any of us really know about love?&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;It seems to me we&#8217;re just beginners at love. We say we love each other and we do, I don&#8217;t doubt it. I love Terri and Teri loves me, and you guys love each other and we do, I don&#8217;t doubt it. You know the kind of love I&#8217;m talking about now. Physical love, that impulse that drives you to someone special, as well as love of the other person&#8217;s being, his or her essence, as it were. Carnal love and, well, call it sentimental love, the day-to-day caring about the other person. But sometimes I have a hard time accounting for the fact that I must have loved my first wife too. But I did, I know I did. So I suppose I am like Terri in that regard. Terri and Ed.&#8221; He thought about it and then he went on. &#8220;There was a time that I thought I loved my first wife more than life itself. But now I hate her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? What happened to it is what I&#8217;d like to know. I wish someone could tell me. Then there&#8217;s Ed. Okay, we&#8217;re back to Ed. He loves Terri so much he tries to kill her and he winds up killing himself.&#8221; Mel stopped talking and swallowed from his glass. &#8220;You guys have been together eighteen months and you love each other. It shows all over you. You glow with it. But you both loved other people before you met each other. You&#8217;ve both been married before, just like us. And you probably loved other people before that too, even. Terri and I have been together for five years, been married for four. And the terrible thing is, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, you might say, is that if something happened to one of us&#8211;excuse me for saying this&#8211;but if something happened to one of us tomorrow, I think the other one, the other person, would grieve for awhile, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough. All this, all this love we&#8217;re talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory. Am I wrong? Am I way off base?? Because I want you to set me straight if you think I&#8217;m wrong. I want to know. I mean, I don&#8217;t know anything, and I&#8217;m the first one to admit it.&#8221;</p>
<p>“Mel, for God&#8217;s sake,&#8221; Terri said. She reached out and took hold of his wrist. &#8220;Are you getting drunk?? Honey? Are you drunk?&#8221;</p>
<p>“Honey, I&#8217;m just talking,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;All right. I don&#8217;t have to be drunk to say what I think. I mean, we&#8217;re all just talking, right?&#8221; Mel said. He fixed his eyes on her.</p>
<p>&#8220;Sweetie, I&#8217;m not criticizing,&#8221; Terri said. She picked up her glass.</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m not on call today,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Let me remind you of that. I&#8217;m not on call.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mel, we love you,&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>Mel looked at Laura. He looked at her as if he could not place her, as if she was not the woman she was. &#8220;Love you too, Laura,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;And you, Nick, love you too. You know something?&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;You guys are our pals.&#8221; He picked up his glass.</p>
<p>Mel said, &#8220;I was going to tell you about something. I mean, I was going to prove a point. You see, this happened a few months ago, but it&#8217;s still going on right now, and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we&#8217;re talking about when we talk about love.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Come on now,&#8221; Terri. &#8220;Don&#8217;t talk like you&#8217;re drunk if you&#8217;re not drunk.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Just shut up for once in your life,&#8221; Mel said very quietly. &#8220;Will you do me a favor and do that for a minute? So as I was saying, there&#8217;s this old couple who had this car wreck out on the interstate. A kid hit them and they were all torn to shit and no one was giving them much chance to pull through.&#8221;</p>
<p>Terri looked at us and then back at Mel. She seemed anxious, but maybe that&#8217;s too strong of a word.  Mel was handing the bottle around the table.</p>
<p>&#8220;I was on call that night,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;It was May or maybe it was June. Terri and I had just sat down to dinner when the hospital had called. There&#8217;d been this thing out on the Interstate. Drunk kid, teenager, plowed his dad&#8217;s pickup into this camper with this old couple in it. They were up in their mid-seventies, that couple. The kid&#8211;eighteen, nineteen, something&#8211;he was DOA. Taken the steering wheel through the sternum. The old couple, they were alive, you understand. I mean, just barely. But they had everything. Multiple fractures, internal injuries, hemorrhaging, contusions, lacerations, the works, and the each of them had themselves concussions. They were in a bad way, believe me. And, of course, their age was two strikes against them. I&#8217;d say she was worse off than he was. Ruptured spleen along with everything else. Both kneecaps broken. But they&#8217;d been wearing their seatbelts and, God knows, that&#8217;s what saved them for the time being.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Folks, this is an advertisement for the National Security Council,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;This is your spokesman, Dr. Melivin R. McGinnis, talking.&#8221; Terri laughed. &#8220;Mel,&#8221; she said, &#8220;sometimes you&#8217;re just too much. But I love you, hon,&#8221; she said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Honey, I love you,&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>He leaned across the table. Terri met him halfway. They kissed.</p>
<p>&#8220;Terri&#8217;s right,&#8221; Mel said as he settled himself. &#8220;Get those seatbelts on. But seriously, they were in some shape, those oldsters. By the time I got down there, the kid was dead, as I said. He was off in a corner, laid out on a gurney. I took one look at the couple and told the ER nurse to get me a neurologist and an orthopedic man and a couple of surgeons down there right away.&#8221;</p>
<p>He drank from his glass. &#8220;I&#8217;ll try to keep this short,&#8221; he said. &#8220;So we took the both of them up to the OR and worked like fuck on them for most of the night. They had these incredible reserves, those two. You see that once in awhile. So we did everything that could be done, and toward the morning we&#8217;re giving them a fifty-fifty chance, maybe less than that for her. So here they are, still alive the next morning. So, okay, we move them into the ICU, which is where they both kept plugging away at it for two weeks, hitting it better and better on all the scopes. So we transfer them out to their own room.&#8221; Mel stopped talking. &#8220;Here,&#8221; he said, &#8220;let&#8217;s drink this cheapo gin the hell up. Then we&#8217;re going to dinner, right? Terri and I know a new place. That&#8217;s where we&#8217;ll go, to this new place we know about. But we&#8217;re not going until we finish this cut-rate losy gin.&#8221;</p>
<p>Terri said, &#8220;We haven&#8217;t actually eaten there yet. But it looks good. From the outside, you know.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I like food,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;If I had to do it all over again, I&#8217;d be chef, you know? Right, Terri?&#8221; Mel said. He laughed. He fingered the ice in the glass. &#8220;Terri knows,&#8221; he said. &#8220;Terri can tell you. But let me say this. If I could come back again in a different life, a different time, and all, you know what? I&#8217;d like to come back as a knight. You were pretty safe wearing all that armor. It was all right being a knight until gunpowder and muskets and pistols came along.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mel, would you like to ride a horse and carry a lance,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Carry a woman&#8217;s scarf with you everywhere,&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Or just a woman,&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Shame on you,&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>Terri said, &#8220;Suppose you came back as a serf. The serfs didn&#8217;t have it so good in those days.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;The serfs never had it good,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;But I guess even the knights were vessels to someone. Isn&#8217;t that the way it worked. But then everyone is always a vessel to someone. Isn&#8217;t that right? Terri? But what I liked about knights, besides their ladies, was that they had that suit of armor, you know, and they couldn&#8217;t get hurt very easy. No cars in those days, you know. No drunk teenagers to tear into your ass.&#8221;</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>&#8220;Vassals,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>&#8220;What?&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Vassals,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;They were called vassals, not vessels.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Vassals, vessels,&#8221; Mel said, &#8220;what the fuck&#8217;s the difference? You knew what I meant anyway. All right,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;So I&#8217;m not educated. I learned my stuff. I&#8217;m a heart surgeon, sure. But I&#8217;m just a mechanic. I go in and I fuck around and I fix things. Shit,&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Modesty doesn&#8217;t become you,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s just a humble sawbones,&#8221; I said. &#8220;But sometimes they suffocated in all that armor, Mel. They&#8217;d even have heart attacks if it got too hot and they were too tired and worn out. I read somewhere that they&#8217;d fall off their horses and not be able to get up because they were too tired to stand with all that armor on them. They got trampled by their own horses sometimes.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s terrible,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;That&#8217;s a terrible think, Nicky. I guess they&#8217;d just lay there and wait until somebody came along and made a shish kebob out of them.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Some other vessel,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s right,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Some vassal would come along and spear the bastard in the name of love. Or whatever the fuck it was they fought over in those days.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Same things we fight over these days,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>Laura said, &#8220;Nothing&#8217;s changed.&#8221;</p>
<p>The color was still high in Laura&#8217;s cheeks. Her eyes were bright. She brought her glass to her lips.<br />
Mel poured himself another drink. He looked at the label closely as if studying a long row of numbers. Then he slowly put the bottle down on the table and slowly reached for the tonic water.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>&#8220;What about the old couple?&#8221; Laura said. &#8220;You didn&#8217;t finish the story you started.</p>
<p>Laura was having a hard time lighting her cigarette. Her matches kept going out.</p>
<p>The sunshine inside the room was different now, changing, getting thinner. But the leaves outside the window were still shimmering, and I stared at the pattern they made on the panes and on the Formica counter. They weren&#8217;t the same patterns, of course.</p>
<p>&#8220;What about the old couple?&#8221; I said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Older but wiser,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>Mel stared at her.</p>
<p>Terri said, &#8220;Go on with your story, hon. I was only kidding. Then what happened??&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Terri, sometimes,&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Please, Mel,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;Don&#8217;t always be so serious, sweetie. Can&#8217;t you take a joke?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Where&#8217;s the joke?&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>He held his glass and gazed steadily at his wife.</p>
<p>&#8220;What happened?&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>Mel fastened his eyes on Laura. He said, &#8220;Laura, if I didn&#8217;t have Terri and if I didn&#8217;t love her so much, and if Nick wasn&#8217;t my best friend, I&#8217;d fall in love with you, I&#8217;d carry you off, honey,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Tell your story,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;Then we&#8217;ll go to that new place, okay?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Okay,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Where was I?&#8221; he said. He stared at the table and then he began again.</p>
<p>&#8220;I dropped in to see each of them every day, sometimes twice a day if I was up doing other calls anyway. Casts and bandages, head to foot, the both of them. You know, you&#8217;ve seen it in the movies. Little eye-holes and nose-holes and mouth-holes. And she had to have her legs slung up on top of it. Well, the husband was very depressed for the longest while. Not about the accident, though. I mean, the accident was one thing, but it wasn&#8217;t everything. I&#8217;d get up to his mouth hole, you know, and he&#8217;d say no, it wasn&#8217;t the accident exactly but it was because he couldn&#8217;t see her through his eye-holes. He said that was what was making him feel so bad. Can you imagine? The man&#8217;s heart was breaking because he couldn&#8217;t turn his goddamn head and <em>see</em> his goddamn wife.&#8221;</p>
<p>Mel looked around the table and shook his head at what he was going to say.</p>
<p>&#8220;I mean, it was killing the old fart just because he couldn&#8217;t <em>look</em> at the fucking woman.&#8221;</p>
<p>We all looked at Mel.</p>
<p>&#8220;Do you see what I&#8217;m saying?&#8221;</p>
<p>Maybe we were a little drunk by them. I know it was hard keeping things in focus. The light was draining out of the room, going back through the window where it had come from. Yet nobody made a move to get up from the table to turn on the overhead light.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Listen,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Let&#8217;s finish this fucking gin. There&#8217;s enough left here for one shooter all around. Then let&#8217;s go eat. Let&#8217;s go to the new place.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;He&#8217;s depressed,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;Mel, why don&#8217;t you take a pill?&#8221;</p>
<p>Mel shook his head. &#8220;I&#8217;ve taken everything there is.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;We all need a pill now and then,&#8221; I said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Some people are born needing them,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>She was using her finger to rub at something on the table. Then she stopped rubbing.</p>
<p>&#8220;I think I want to call my kids,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Is that all right with everybody? I&#8217;ll call my kids.”</p>
<p>Terri said, &#8220;What if Marjorie answers the phone? You guys, you&#8217;ve heard us on the subject of Marjorie? Honey, you know you don&#8217;t want to talk to Marjorie. It&#8217;ll make you feel even worse.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t want to talk to Marjorie.&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;But I want to talk to my kids.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;There isn&#8217;t a day goes by that Mel doesn&#8217;t say he wishes she&#8217;d get married again. Or else die,&#8221; Terri said. &#8220;For one thing,&#8221; Terri said, &#8220;she&#8217;s bankrupting us. Mel says it&#8217;s just to spite him that she won&#8217;t get married again. She has a boyfriend who lives with her and the kids, so Mel is supporting the boyfriend too.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;She&#8217;s allergic to bees,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;If I&#8217;m not praying she&#8217;ll get married again, I&#8217;m praying she&#8217;ll get herself stung to death by a swarm of fucking bees.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Shame on you,&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>&#8220;Bzzzzzz,&#8221; Mel said, turning his fingers into bees and buzzing them at Terri&#8217;s throat. Then he let his hands drop all the way to his sides. &#8220;She&#8217;s vicious,&#8221; Mel said. &#8220;Sometimes I think I&#8217;ll go up there dressed like a beekeeper. You know, that hat that&#8217;s like a helmet with the plate that comes down over your face, the big gloves, and the padded coat? I&#8217;ll knock on the door and let loose a hive of bees in the house. But first I&#8217;d make sure the kids were out, of course.&#8221;</p>
<p>He crossed one leg over the other. It seemed to take him a lot of time to do it. Then he put both feet on the floor and leaned forward, elbows on the table, his chin cupped in his hands. &#8220;Maybe I won&#8217;t call the kids, after all. Maybe it isn&#8217;t such a hot idea. Maybe we&#8217;ll just go eat. How does that sound?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Sounds fine to me,&#8221; I said. &#8220;Eat or not eat. Or keep drinking. I could head right on out into the sunset.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;What does that mean, honey?&#8221; Laura said.</p>
<p>&#8220;It just means what I said,&#8221; I said. &#8220;It means I could just keep going. That&#8217;s all it means.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I could eat something myself,&#8221; Laura said. &#8220;I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve ever been so hungry in my life. Is there something to nibble on?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;ll put out some cheese and crackers,&#8221; Terri said.</p>
<p>But Terri just sat there. She did not get up to get anything.</p>
<p>Mel turned his glass over. He spilled it out on the table.</p>
<p>&#8220;Gin&#8217;s gone.&#8221; Mel said.</p>
<p>Terri said, &#8220;Now what?&#8221;</p>
<p>I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone&#8217;s heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>Cool story, huh?? It was written in 1981, the year KC was born, actually. That girl can write, not as good as that Carver dude, but maybe one day. She shared a poem with me she wrote this summer while on the road. <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/an-unrevised-poem-in-kc%E2%80%99s-mead-notebook/">click here if you want to read it . . .</a></p>
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		<title>SKY &amp; THE S.A.K.E. FEST DAY ONE</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:50:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=111</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[At the S.A.K.E. festival, with henna in a plastic squeeze bottle applicator, Keith drew outlines of his hand all over my body. In the middle of his outlined hand he pasted an eye. To make sure the designs were perfect, he edited with a toothpick. I was covered in henna hands. All over my body, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-112" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="03_sky-tyler1" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler1-300x199.jpg" alt="03_sky-tyler1" width="300" height="199" /></a>At the S.A.K.E. festival, with henna in a plastic squeeze bottle applicator, Keith drew outlines of his hand all over my body. In the middle of his outlined hand he pasted an eye. To make sure the designs were perfect, he edited with a toothpick. I was covered in henna hands. All over my body, on my breasts, thighs, legs, back, stomach, maybe fifteen hands, all with big open eyes right in the middle. He explained to me that the hands symbolized the world and how everybody in it wanted to get a piece of me. He said everyone wanted to put their hands on me and take what they could get, but Keith would do his best not to let that happen. The eyes in the middle of the hand were his eyes, his Mayan third eye, so he said, and his Mayan third eye would watch out for me forever. Interesting, huh? At the S.A.K.E. festival, in return, I drew a huge henna tree from his neck down to his knees. The bark ran down his stomach, his arms were the branches and roots ran down his pelvis and groin. I explained that the tree was a symbol of his enlightenment. After two years together he felt firmly rooted in my heart and soul. I never meant to hurt him. Keith and me have been through a lot. I never meant to hurt him. Anyway, the henna at the S.A.K.E. fest was so-o-o awesome. To make Henna the old fashioned way, which is what Keith did, it’s a process. He could’ve bought a henna kit with everything set up but that lacked spirit. And for Buddha’s sake, is anything real if not for spirit. I’ll never forget the S.A.K.E. fest—nothing in my life has ever come close to that celebration.</p>
<p>If you like this, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-keith-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/">Keith tell his version of the same festival</a></p>
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		<title>SHORE MORRIS’S TAKE ON THE DECRIMINLIZATION OF DRUGS</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/shore-morris%e2%80%99s-take-on-the-decriminlization-of-drugs/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/shore-morris%e2%80%99s-take-on-the-decriminlization-of-drugs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 Apr 2009 13:37:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=294</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The whole system kills me. The American policy on drugs. Don’t buy em on the street. For heaven’s sake, no. Arrest the motherfuckers that buy drugs on the street. Lock-em up. Lock-em up before they spread their disease to the rest of society. God forbid drugs became legalized. No, that wouldn’t work, even if the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/10_shore-morris5.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-295" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="10_shore-morris5" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/10_shore-morris5-150x150.jpg" alt="10_shore-morris5" width="150" height="150" /></a>The whole system kills me. The American policy on drugs. Don’t buy em on the street. For heaven’s sake, no. Arrest the motherfuckers that buy drugs on the street. Lock-em up. Lock-em up before they spread their disease to the rest of society. God forbid drugs became legalized. No, that wouldn’t work, even if the government taxed the shit out of them. Decriminalization? Nah. Let’s stick to the system. You want to get fucked up. Let the PhD’s fuck you up. The doctors, they’ve been through the system, they’ve paid into the system. PhD stands for paid his dues. You want to get fucked up, call a PhD—let the Professional’s Handle the Drugs.</p>
<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/category/festival/">Looking for a place to go, head to the show . . .</a></p>
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		<title>SKY S.A.K.E. FEST DAYS TWO AND THREE</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-two-and-three/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-two-and-three/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:58:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=118</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Day two of the S.A.K.E. fest we danced a lot. We danced to Indian sageet music; beautiful sounds pushed by the seventeen-string sitar and the bell-like tabla drums. I know a little about belly dancing. I had taken a class at the time. We danced and danced, naked of course, covered in Henna. We made [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler2.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-119" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="03_sky-tyler2" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler2-300x199.jpg" alt="03_sky-tyler2" width="300" height="199" /></a></p>
<p>Day two of the S.A.K.E. fest we danced a lot. We danced to Indian sageet music; beautiful sounds pushed by the seventeen-string sitar and the bell-like tabla drums. I know a little about belly dancing. I had taken a class at the time. We danced and danced, naked of course, covered in Henna. We made up the UIRBY dance during day two of S.A.K.E. U as in you. I as in me. R as in are. B as in be. Why? You and I are. We are. We are inside. We are, we be, but we be outside. U experience my B. I experience my R. UIRBY? Why are we? Why be? UIRBY? Forget it. It’s something from high school. Anyway during S.A.K.E. we created the UIRBY dance. In our version we kept the same rhythm as the YMCA but we assigned the I and R the chord to which M occupies. Also, during day two of the S.A.K.E. festival we pretended we were gods and goddesses making up dramas. Keith played Ganesha. I am Ganesha, son of Shiva. The elephant man, remover of your obstacles. I line your road with lotus petals and keep you free from struggle. He went on. His performance at S.A.K.E. inspired me to get the Ganesha tat on my shoulder. In turn I took on Lakshmi. My performance lacked the emotional resonance compared to that of Keith, but he was always a good actor, even before he moved to Los Angeles. During day two we also did yoga. We fell a lot but it had more to do with the sake wine we drank than our balance. On the third day of the S.A.K.E. fest we made love, eight times in all. Keith made love to me like Ansel Adams made love to Yosemite. Totally wonderful day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you enjoyed this meditation, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-talks-about-a-trip-to-the-museum-with-keith/">Sky share an old story about Keith</a></p>
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		<title>SHORE MORRIS BACKGROUND</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/shore-tries-to-talk-about-himself-without-getting-political/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/shore-tries-to-talk-about-himself-without-getting-political/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:25:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=280</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Shore Morris story. You want to know the Shore Morris story? My story’s just like everyone else’s story, I’ll tell you that. There’s nothing special about my story. Nothing monumental. I’d rather talk about The Washington Monument, a huge white phallic symbol, a giant American penis, the United Cocks of America, one of America’s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/10_shore-morris3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-281" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="10_shore-morris3" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/10_shore-morris3-202x300.jpg" alt="10_shore-morris3" width="202" height="300" /></a>The Shore Morris story. You want to know the Shore Morris story? My story’s just like everyone else’s story, I’ll tell you that. There’s nothing special about my story. Nothing monumental. I’d rather talk about The Washington Monument, a huge white phallic symbol, a giant American penis, the United Cocks of America, one of America’s biggest monuments a hard-reminder of the patriarch, a hard-reminder that all forty-three presidents so far have been white males. At least they were. I’m Asian but so what? I’m so happy Obama’s our president. He should paint the Washington Monument chocolate brown, it’s only fair, I say. Who cares that I hail from Seattle? Who cares that my grandparents were World War Two prisoners of war, held captive right here in America? I’m not here to be your friend. I’m not here to be funny. You think it’s funny in every American arcade there are games with guns. An arcade is a haven, a freaking sanctuary for kids. Mine as well put a nine-millimeter in their hands. No wonder why you have eighteen-year-old soldiers going to war thinking they’re playing a game. Soldier, son, can you describe the battle for all the loyal Americans WATCHING FROM THEIR COUCHES AT HOME all of us who support you so. Well, yeah, we see the sandniggas, and we pop em, reckon it’s kind-a like a video game. Meanwhile Iraq and Afghanistan are burning down and women and kids are dying and we’re supposed to buy it. Absurdity. Fucking ridiculous. And it starts here, perhaps in our own arcades. Whatever happened to Pac-Man or Pitfall or Donkey Kong; simple video games that promoted capitalism not death. They should make games that promote sharing. Game’s where the goal is to grow as much food as possible or how-to-raise-a-family when you’re driving a cab. It’s a lot easier to point and shoot. I know. And Americans like it easy. We like it easy. We certainly do, Ollie.</p>
<p>Looking for a place to go?? <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/category/festival/">How about back to the festival?</a></p>
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		<title>KEITH &amp; CRYSTAL CRAPS</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-keith-talks-about-playing-crystal-craps/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-keith-talks-about-playing-crystal-craps/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Apr 2009 21:20:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=73</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I grew up playing craps with crystals. About sixth grade I invented a game. It was played with chunks of green jade, black onyx, orange amber, and the pointy purple amethysts. You’d get a shoebox and toss the four stones. The idea of the game was to keep the onyx away from the amber. You&#8217;d [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-74" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="04_keith-lipsiznowaz" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz-200x300.jpg" alt="04_keith-lipsiznowaz" width="200" height="300" /></a>I grew up playing craps with crystals. About sixth grade I invented a game. It was played with chunks of green jade, black onyx, orange amber, and the pointy purple amethysts. You’d get a shoebox and toss the four stones. The idea of the game was to keep the onyx away from the amber. You&#8217;d roll until the onyx was the closest stone to the amber. You wanted to get as many rolls as you could. This was a few years before I knew anything about their metaphysical properties. Like why would I want to attract amber to onyx in a game when they’re both grounding stones and are naturally attracted anyway? What did I know then? I just loved the colors. I had this one amber crystal with the remains of a moth fossilized in the resin. Very wild. You could see the remains of the fly. The moth could&#8217;ve been a million years old. Anyway, one day Antwain, your typical school bully, he got mad cause he kept losing, and he threw my rocks off the school playground and they soared and I never seen them again. So much for crystal craps. Even as a kid I used to like to gamble. SELF-REALIZATION alert!! There’s something about risk I like.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you liked this, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/deleted-scene%e2%80%94how-keith-and-sky-met/">how Keith and Sky met</a></p>
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		<title>HOW KEITH AND SKY MET</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/deleted-scene%e2%80%94how-keith-and-sky-met/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/deleted-scene%e2%80%94how-keith-and-sky-met/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:39:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=78</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sky was a freshman in high school, a recent transplant from Humboldt. She lived with her mother and younger twin brothers in the Richmond, displaced from her dad in the divorce. She attended George Washington High, the same school as Keith. For social reasons, she joined after-school groups ranging from the Equestrian Club to the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-79" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="03_sky-tyler" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/03_sky-tyler-300x199.jpg" alt="03_sky-tyler" width="300" height="199" /></a>Sky was a freshman in high school, a recent transplant from Humboldt. She lived with her mother and younger twin brothers in the Richmond, displaced from her dad in the divorce. She attended George Washington High, the same school as Keith. For social reasons, she joined after-school groups ranging from the Equestrian Club to the Life Savor Club. The latter worked to stop the spread of smoking by teens. Keith was a senior and always fiddling with crystals. Too clumsy for sports he liked to read, a lot of New Age stuff. But he also joined clubs. During his years at Washington High, Keith dipped his toes into the Drum Corps, and the Outdoor Club. As a sophomore, he briefly joined the Articulate Creatures of the Elements, a hip-hop club consisting of kids who by definition would hang out and compose only positive rhymes, a group that a member of Hurricane Clout belonged to, Diamonds, before he moved to New York. Keith had friends at school. There were over two thousand students. Yet, for the most part he lived in his own head, at least until Sky came along. They saw each other for the first time at a meeting of the Cool Cat Campus Clean-up Crew. They locked eyes and exchanged a smile. They spoke for the first time cleaning up after a football game, a big game, Washington vs. Lincoln, the Richmond District versus the Sunrise District. After the game, on the grass lawn behind the bleachers, they both bent down for the same Kit-Kat wrapper and their heads collided. They giggled and apologized and traded names. Afterward they always greeted each other in school with a smile and a hey. One day she asked him what he played with in his pockets every time he passed her in the hallway. Keith, to her surprise, produced an amber crystal and gave it to her. He said he carried the crystal every day in his pocket for a year and now it belonged to her and it would bring her good luck. He said he knew the rock belonged to her but he had been waiting for the right time to give the gift. No boy had ever given her anything. They cultivated their bud and their flower bloomed. One day everything came together. One of those moments in life when timing and opportunity align. One of those magic minor moments when major things happened. At Sky’s house, mid-afternoon, on the couch, they were watching Heathers. Her brothers were at basketball practice. Her mom at the UCSF Medical Center at Mount Zion, a nurse in the department of Anesthesia. Sky and Keith were on the couch necking. Things steamed up quickly as they dry humped their fannies off.</p>
<p>“Keith, let’s go to my room.”</p>
<p>Keith sort of froze with a stupid look on his face. “You’re room?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, my room.” She said it in a dirty way.</p>
<p>Keith scooped her up like butter pecan ice cream; he had her in his arms, no problem. They headed towards the room. He wondered about music. Should they listen to Depeche Mode, The Cure, Tori Amos, The Pixies, Jane’s Addiction, Macy Gray, Barry White, probably Depeche Mode, he figured, People Are People was her favorite album at the time. Sky thought about candles. She wanted to light as many as she could. The door was in sight. Keith’s can<a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz1.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-80" title="04_keith-lipsiznowaz1" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/04_keith-lipsiznowaz1-200x300.jpg" alt="04_keith-lipsiznowaz1" width="200" height="300" /></a>ter switched to double-time, his mind only on her bed, ooo-ooo, little monkey thoughts. They approached the door. Then Sky’s head banged against the side of the bedroom door. They had to go to the hospital. She needed seven stitches. It wasn’t funny. It was a mess. Sky had a concussion. Keith was a total wreck. He wanted to jump off the Bay Bridge. It worked out in the end. Sky was mad at him, for awhile. She went a week without answering his calls. She even blocked his e-mail address. He made up a new account. She blocked that one too. Yet she forgave him. Not because of the poetry or chocolates or flowers or song and dance number he composed in her honor. She forgave him because of the look in his eyes. It was a sparkling powerful Almond joy of a look. They didn&#8217;t have sex until three months later in the strawberry fields. Often they’d drive down to Watsonville and hit up the Seers Strawberry Pick-and-Roll, a huge farm with fields and fields of strawberry patches. They’d have buckets and take their time finding the ripest, fattest, reddest, strawberries they could rip off the vine. They used to find such wonderful fruit, so ripe the berries were about to fall off themselves. Sometimes they would wander deep out in the fields. So far out no one could see them. All they could see was the distant storefront where you paid for the fruit and the outlines of a migrant worker or two. The fields were theirs. They made love for the first time in the strawberry fields. Under the California sun, in between rows of strawberries, those strawberry fields felt golden.</p>
<p>If you liked this deleted scene, check out Sky talk about a <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-her-own-words-sky-explains-the-sake-festival-day-one/">secret festival called S.A.K.E.</a></p>
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		<title>THELONIOUS COMMENTS ON MELODY RAIN</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-comments-on-melody-rain/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-comments-on-melody-rain/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:22:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=135</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When I kicked it with Melody Rain she lived in Frisco and still went to community college in the East Bay. That was like two summers ago. Let me tell you something: Melody doesn’t give a fuck about Botany or VCC or the AA degree. She lives her life to a different degree. A degree [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/01_thelonious-horowitz5.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-136" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="01_thelonious-horowitz5" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/01_thelonious-horowitz5-199x300.jpg" alt="01_thelonious-horowitz5" width="199" height="300" /></a>When I kicked it with Melody Rain she lived in Frisco and still went to community college in the East Bay. That was like two summers ago. Let me tell you something: Melody doesn’t give a fuck about Botany or VCC or the AA degree. She lives her life to a different degree. A degree you can’t get in college. She travels with no money and parties without buying drugs and fucks and fucks and remembers to forget it all. Stoops. What good to her are the Latin names of plants? For exercise, for fun, she rides a broken down twentieth century fin-de-siecle and her horizon doesn’t stretch further than tomorrow. That bitch believes in a prolonged derangement of her senses, if and only if the party defines decadence inside and out. Melody’s got the rock star steez. She fears nothing, in the least what is unknown. Melody loves beautiful people. She loves Rastafari. She even loves death, but compared to death I’m sure she’d prefer a sandwich from the Irie Café. Sometimes I think of Melody Rain as an impostafari, but stoops, who am I to judge? I will say Melody got a ba dunk-a dunk butt. I’ll judge that, son. And I will say I turned that Shiite out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you liked this, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-waxes-about-san-francisco/">Thelonious reminisce about San Francisco</a></p>
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		<title>MELODY&#8217;S DAYDREAM ON THE N JUDAH</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/melody-rain%e2%80%99s-internal-dialogue-on-the-n-judah/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/melody-rain%e2%80%99s-internal-dialogue-on-the-n-judah/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:19:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Look at you, thirty-nine, maybe forty, wrinkled and maternal, I see you taking off your sweatshirt. Your arms stretch over your head, up comes your shirt. I see a bit of your skin cause your T-shirt rises as well. Your lovers past. Back in the day they saw the same spectacle with hella lust, with [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/07_melody-rain2.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-132" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="07_melody-rain2" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/07_melody-rain2-150x150.jpg" alt="07_melody-rain2" width="150" height="150" /></a></p>
<p><em>Look at you, thirty-nine, maybe forty, wrinkled and maternal, I see you taking off your sweatshirt. Your arms stretch over your head, up comes your shirt. I see a bit of your skin cause your T-shirt rises as well. Your lovers past. Back in the day they saw the same spectacle with hella lust, with anticipation, they wanted you. You wanted to be wanted. Oh, yes you did. Remember those days. I’m filled with lust now when I look at you. Lust, like rust, doesn’t fade as much as it decays. Wait till I see Sky, wait till I see my baby-girl, I can’t wait. Thirty-nine, look at you, wrinkled, and maternal, what happened to you? You’re all right. It’s okay. You’re all right. We’re okay, sugar.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>If you liked this, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-comments-on-melody-rain/">Thelonious comment on Melody Rain</a></p>
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		<title>THELONIOUS TAKES ON SAN FRANCISCO</title>
		<link>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-waxes-about-san-francisco/</link>
		<comments>http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-waxes-about-san-francisco/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Apr 2009 02:26:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>J.J. Colagrande</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[San Francisco]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://headzthenovel.com/?p=138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Cable cars. Never stay anywhere near a cable-car line. All day and night. Fucking tourists, hip-sacks, shopping bags, fleece SF sweatshirts, gee, honey—who would’ve thought it gets so cold in California during the summer. Everyone hanging off the cable cars all smiling and waving. They wave at the locals. What are you waving at? I’m [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/01_thelonious-horowitz6.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-139" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 7px;" title="01_thelonious-horowitz6" src="http://headzthenovel.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/01_thelonious-horowitz6-199x300.jpg" alt="01_thelonious-horowitz6" width="199" height="300" /></a>Cable cars. Never stay anywhere near a cable-car line. All day and night. Fucking tourists, hip-sacks, shopping bags, fleece SF sweatshirts, gee, honey—who would’ve thought it gets so cold in California during the summer. Everyone hanging off the cable cars all smiling and waving. They wave at the locals. What are you waving at? I’m mid-city chilling over here.  Please don’t wave at me. I used to have fun at Melody’s apartment when she lived in Nob Hill on Mason. I&#8217;d hang out on the terrace and throw eggs at the cable cars. But only during the foggy days. The fog was my cape. When crappy let them think Frisco’s filled with a bunch of punk assholes. When sunny give em their sun and smiles and bells and hip-sacks. I know I’m an asshole. I know I can be a punk. I burn bridges sometimes. I do. And that&#8217;s okay. But I’m not anti-Frisco, just don’t wave at me if I’m mid-city chillin. Melody’s from Bezerkley. That&#8217;s better. She’s kind of punk-y too when it comes down to it. My biggest qualm with Frisco is its too soft. And what’s with all the weirdoes? Like the spun out hippie selling handfuls of wilted flowers. And the Bushman who jumps out from behind the bushes down by the wharf. Frisco needs a little wrecking crew steez, if you know what I mean. There are some cool skate spots out there. And I used to bomb the city with graffiti. You know them posters with Andre the Giant—the OBEY brainwash campaign—one drunk night in Potrero Hill Melody Rain and me found one and I tagged right over it. I wrote OBEY HURRICANE CLOUT. You know what I’m talking bout, right? The Fairey—my old man’s invested in his art—OBEY THIS. Fuck it, man. I used to bust a lot of graffiti in Frisco. Especially on the park benches. Don’t get me wrong. Frisco’s n-i-i-i-ce. I’m not fronting on the place. It’s just too mellow that’s all.</p>
<p>If you like Thelonious, check out <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/in-his-own-words-thelonious-waxes-on-the-city-of-chicago/">his take on Chicago</a>, or go back to <a href="http://headzthenovel.com/category/new-york/">New York</a></p>
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