New York

TEFLON & HIS MOM’S FAMILY

By J.J. Colagrande
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Her name was Viviana Glass, my moms. She was born in Chicago, you know, raised in Oak Park, south of the city. My grandmother, Rosa Maria Contros, is Chilean. To this day she designs costumes for the lively Chicago theatre community. Poor Gammy, she outlived her daughter, must be the worst joke God ever bestowed… »

KC EXPLAINS HOW SHE MET DICKIE (BROOKLYNESE VERSION)

By J.J. Colagrande
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Of all the rowmantic places for young loveaz to meet in New Yawk: the fifth flaw of the Whitknee like as soon as the ellavada opens, or buy-da win chimes of Sockrateez Paawk in Long Eyeland City, or the LOVE peece in the PRATT statchu garden—our fateful encounta took place at Pathmaawk; eyeill tree, in… »

HOW TEFLON’S MOTHER AND FATHER MET

By J.J. Colagrande
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My moms grew up cultured. She and her two sisters were always around the theater. When offered a free ride no one acted surprised when she chose UCLA. Everyone pushed her towards L.A. Quickly, she became a rising star in the theatre department her first two years, landing leads in Romeo & Juliet and, ‘Night,… »

TEFLON’S PARENTS DIVORCE

By J.J. Colagrande
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It looked good for the image of Byron Jones to have a wife and child. We settled near Detroit. Moms took care of me the first couple of years but soon I saw maids more than both my parents combined, with Byron on the road and moms involved with local Chippewa causes. When Byron Jones… »

THELONIOUS ON HIS PARENTS BEFORE LEAVING FOR ORACLEDANG

By J.J. Colagrande
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That’s the way it is over there. Their steez could cripple a weaker nigga. It’s all-good though. I don’t hate them or nothin, just they love breakin balls, they like live for it. Sometimes I can hang with it and sometimes I can’t. I’ll admit a five-minute tolerance zone could qualify us as dysfunctional. Fuck… »

TEFLON & THE WARRIOR’S WAY

By J.J. Colagrande
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I’m Teflon Jones. The kid who could’ve had the world: fame, money, glamour, pussy. The kid who walked away from what thousands of athlete’s dream of. For a large part of my life I had no choice but to see the world—to see myself—as the way people told me. A son of a celebrity—a celebrity… »

POEM IN KC’S MEAD NOTEBOOK

By J.J. Colagrande
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AN UNREVISED POEM IN KC’S MEAD NOTEBOOK (written on the drive from South Bend, IN to Chicago, IL, while Shore Morris was driving, the day before the show, a day as sunny as can be.) Making its presence known, The Sun, in its noontime glory, took center stage for a blazing seven hour set that… »

THELONIOUS LEAVING LAST MINUTE

By J.J. Colagrande
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Last minute steez. That’s how we do it. Wake up in the morning and your day is your day then somewhere along the line you’re Audi five-thousand. I’m not saying it’s the only way to do it. Just my favorite. It certainly ain’t the best way—you know—not having a ticket for a music fest. If… »

THELONIOUS RIFFS ABOUT BANDMATES

By J.J. Colagrande
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After dippin Teflon I hit up 7B. My ass planned on flexin to the music festival and I had to set it straight with Hurricane Clout. Only Diamonds came through for a late morning drink. Chopshop couldn’t come through cause him and his baby’s momma were going somewhere in Brooklyn. I’m not worried about Chopshop…. »

WHY THELONIOUS LOVES NEW YORK

By J.J. Colagrande
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I Love New York, I do, that’s why I had to get the fuck out of dodge immediately, if not sooner. Man I’m born and raised in that motherfucker and the difference between most natives and me is I get out as much as possible. I’ve seen over eighty music festivals in the past five years. When… »

THELONIOUS & HIS UPBRINGING

By J.J. Colagrande
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You know my breeding is impeccable. I come from money, good Manhattan Jewish money. I’ve had a good education. The best money can buy. Sometimes I don’t show it, talk it, act like it, but it’s there. You know Tupac went to the Baltimore School for the Arts. That nigga studied dance and ballet. It’s… »