Miami

THE ECONONY OF THE SHOW

By J.J. Colagrande
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An economy feeding on ganja gooballs has no need for Alan Greenspan. Besides, the unemployment rate at The Show’s a remarkable zero. There’s work. Not for the sixty thousand plus from the area. They’re the custies. The twenty thousand heads who’ve dropped down on Chicago are the ones working. We work three kinds of industries:… »

THELONIOUS INTERVIEWS GERI ABOUT SEWING

By J.J. Colagrande
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Geri loves to sew—shortie’s always sewing. Tell me, sista—who taught you? Before I came to sewing I first started crocheting, back in the day, before I met Curtis. I was like fourteen, living in Hialeah with mi familia. My Nana taught me. And you dug it like what? I dug it and it came to… »

CURTIS HAS A LUDE ABOUT HURRICANES

By J.J. Colagrande
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Thelonious stayed with us during a Hurricane. We had a lil jam . . . hee, hee. Coupla bottles, some dank buds. There’s nothing else to do when there’s a Hurricane. It’s all Chicken Little sensationalism. The sky is falling. The sky is falling . . . hee, hee. Television On . . . we’re… »

THELONIOUS REVEALS THE SECRET OF CURTIS

By J.J. Colagrande
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Let me tell you about Curt. Would it be surprising to find out that Curtis ain’t his real name? Guess what? His name ain’t Curtis or K-hole or Keiser Sosa or Shamus Heaney. Not his real name. No one knows his real name, including me. Well, maybe I know, but I ain’t tellin nothin cause… »

CURTIS’S SECRET POTION

By J.J. Colagrande
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I had a dream. A weird dream, even for me. Geri and me were at our favorite restaurant, Benihana’s, and an old Japanese man with dreadlocks served as the hibachi chef. In the dream, Geri went to the restroom. When she left, the hibachi chef started flipping oysters at my head. PAP! PAP! Oysters pelting… »

CURTIS’S SECRET CODE

By J.J. Colagrande
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Curtis had a secret code to which all his customers were acquainted. He used this code at home, or at a music festival. Although not that complicated, the code could seem that way. The premise was that every letter or number translated to one letter or number back then how it appeared. In his language:… »

CURTIS’S SONG (lyrics by Horowitz, T)

By J.J. Colagrande
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Well, the weather outside is delightful We’ll fire up some weed come nightfall And since it’s almost time for The Show Let Em Grow! Let Em Grow! Let Em Grow! Oh they don’t show signs of stopping Geri scored some pills for popping The florescent lights perpetuate the glow Let Em Grow! Let Em Grow!… »

THELONIOUS WAXES ABOUT CURTIS, WEED, AND DRUGS IN GENERAL

By J.J. Colagrande
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That’s what I love about Curtis—of course he has a code. He has to be on the down low. How many headz in South Florida do you think grow a crossbreed between the White Widow and the Silver Haze? By the way, don’t tell me drugs are bad, okay. I don’t wanna hear it, no,… »

THELONIOUS ON SOUTH FLORI-DUH

By J.J. Colagrande
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Miami’s ill and all but what is it about South Floriduh? There must be something in the water cause everyone down there’s fucked up. Maybe they get too much sun or something. But it’s not only the people. It’s the whole place. If there’s anything embarrassing going on in America, look for South Floriduh to… »