#3 THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE ME

By J.J. Colagrande

Have you ever been in jail while trying to kick? Do you have any idea know how it feels? Imagine bugs crawling all over your skin. You can’t eat. Everything tastes like shit. I threw up almost every meal. You can also trade in a good night’s sleep for tossing-and-turning in a little bunk. I was waking up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. Only to feel cold. Like freezing cold. Lying there, I honestly thought about suicide. I imagined scenarios. Bedsheets tied to rafters. Shards of glass to my wrists. It was hell. And the whole time I tried to hide it. I didn’t want anyone to know I was on junk and kicking. I’m still going in front of a judge. They have me trying to sell a sheet of LSD to a fucking narc. I have an old bench warrant from Texas. A minor possession charge I never bothered to show up to court for. I’m hoping they don’t know. Lord knows I’m not volunteering any information. I’m hoping it’s lost in some interstate database. You know. Like it’s just a Texas thing. I don’t need to give them anything else on me. But it doesn’t even matter. I’m screwed. Acid is a Schedule I drug. And this is a Federal case. A sheet of acid is one hundred hits, that’s more than 10 grams. One hit is half-a-gram. Do you know what that means? I’m looking at ten plus years. Even if we can argue that the blotter paper shouldn’t count against us as weight, I’m still looking at a minimum of five years. For a stupid two hundred dollar hustle. How do I know all of this? Have you even been arrested? Everyone in there is a freaking lawyer and there’s nothing else to talk about. Sitting there playing spades and hearts with all those crazy bitches and hoes. I wasn’t the only girl at Oracledang popped. But I didn’t care about anybody. I couldn’t handle five years. I couldn’t handle five more days in that place. I was crawling in my skin. I should’ve been released just cause of how they treated me in that truck. No woman let alone any human should have to endure that. It’s not right. Can you hear me? It’s not fair. Oh my god. Jail sucked so bad. I didn’t know what to do. I needed help. Who was gonna help me? I prayed. Please god. Send me an angel. I prayed like the sinner that I was. Please God if you get me out of here. Please I’ll do good. I promise. I’ll never do any more drugs. I’ll never be bad. Please god. I’m so sorry. I’m a horrible person. Oh my god, please. Get me out.

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